becca's

2012-02-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

From life's first cry to final breath,since curse has lost its grip on me,

no guilt in life no fear in death can pluck me from his hands till he calls me home.

It is now 2.30AM and I am awake. Terrible terrible. I know. Sigh, I am starting to see the down side of home schooling. The discipline has vanished. well. Well, I am SLOWLY changing. hope everything turns out fine.

Anyways, went on a date with my best friend Sean,and a few other close friends(: I've known him for like forever~ I am happy i went on the date with him, cause I feel comfortable with him I dint have to go through the whole nervous first date kinda thing!

We had pasta mania for lunch then we went to a beautiful park. It must have been the most beautiful place you could find in Singapore! REALLY!

yea I don't look good in most of the pictures so YEA...

We sat by the river and TRIED to throw pebbles to make it bounce on the water you know that kinda stuff. yea, I SUCK AT IT. In the end i just threw like 5 rocks at the same time to convince myself that I'm am a good rock thrower thingy.

Played a few games. LAUGHED LIKE MAD

Started slacking off and wondering around after everything hahahahha!

I had such a great time. And I am so thankful to having a friend like him where we can sit and talk and spend lots of time yet never with any wrong intentions. Pure friendship between us reminds me of the kingdom. #grateful

2012-01-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

Happiness is found only in one who believes that

Happiness is more important than pride.

Happy chinese new year people. I spent my second day house visiting with friends. It was fun, We entertained ourselves by playing ice and freeze or something. I was so tired chasing them around and around. I HATE RUNNING. But the funny thing is I use to run for my school's in house competition. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Dumb.

Yea so holiday updates, A quick one. I'm sick you see, from the chinese new year walking around.

Every year end, my church has this camp for the teenagers, so we could just have fun and stay over and stuff. We usually go overseas together, But because we all went to bali together in june this dec we stayed in singapore. $$$$$$ limited.

This year, we all got bandanas instead of t-shirts. it was special(:

We were split into 4 groups. I THINK. The first day, we had our games ,lesson, then night walk. every one was blind folded and lead around the building, till the car park where water eggs and whatever was thrown on them. OH, But I was a leader so I dint have to go through the pain~

MY GROUP! I forgot our name. but we rock!

Trying to organize them into standing in a heart shape .

Bringing them around the building hahahaa. Imaginary "WALLS"

DOWN THE LIFT.

All the evil leaders who were clean through everything MWAHAHHAHA

Yea, Cause I was int he committee I had to wake up EARLY the next day to get breakfast ready . #sadlife. Slept for like 3 hours. I almost died. Forced my group to wake up and assist me. the power of being the group's leader:D

Went to yishun safara, Did rock climbing and high elements and stuff. I almost died once again.

This is me in the stuff. I look terrible, I know. UGLY. I look like a man. okay. i know.

anyway, I went home early cause i had a fever. And the third day they all went to east coast in the morning.

Okay I need to get sleep or I am gonna have a fever for real now.

2012-01-22T07:24:00.000-08:00

What heights of love what depths of peace when fears are still ,

My comforter, here in the love of Christ I stand.

I have made a planner, Where I shall plan out a schedule to study and stuff. It was really hard organizing my life cause I have so much to do. After writing down all that I had to achieve in a week I felt really burdened. By its okay. I CAN GET THROUGH THIS YEAR.

Its Chinese new year now, A time I get to spend with my extended family. I am very grateful of this time of the year, Because of singapore's hectic city life, me and my cousins could never hangout. So Chinese new year means a lot to me.

Every year we meet we look different and dress differently with different interest but we always get along, and every year without fail we would hangout in my grandmama and grandpa's room together, Chatting ,playing games, I love my family so much(:

Okay, Holiday update. My birthday was during the holidays, So last year I decided I wanted a small birthday thing, Where I would hangout with those closest to me.

I invited 6 of my closest friends to my place for dinner & movies. And I had lunch with one of my good friend pam, I did this two separately so I had fun individually(:

MY FAV BURFDAY PRESENT!

A build a bear, I have been wanting this for 235634957230467536 years! My dear friend knew and went to the shop to get me one ! HAHAHAHA. It was really sweet, He is a big guy so for him to go into that kinda shop ALONE was really sweet (:

this is the awesome person who gave me the awesome gift!

Yea, So this are people whom I loved, The people who celebrated my special day with me(:

2012-01-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

Friendship has the power to defy gravity.

After seeing my dearest sweet post, I can't not post about it too!

Gosh, So much memories. Spent the whole of last night bringing up old memories with zuer. The power of whatsapp!

Yea, So school life dint start of easy for me, I was unlucky to be called out to help the teacher mark attendance which apparently in the eyes of some brat was a crime. And that brat just had to make my life miserable after that, pin pointing my every mistake.

So obviously standing alone in a new school,I only knew how to cry alone. That girl was spreading nonsensical rumors about me. And she started forming her own clique with the other chinese girls meaning they were not ALLOWED to talk to me.

I remember so vividly getting nice "don't cry): " notes from zoyi every time I came back to class after crying, I'd remember her ignoring them and sitting with me during recess. Though its like 5 years ago I'd remember her staying by me. Though after awhile I was fine with the other girls I would only be "nicer" to zoyi. Yknow, Though we have our up's and down I will always consider her my very true friend.

Through our school years we got closer,and stood by each other, creating many idiotic memories.

Every time there's some kinda weird problem in our clique or one of us is heart broken we'd have each other.

Our double date at night safari ,AHHAHA i was so bored. And we were only 13.

CLEANING HER DAMN HOUSE. annoying. I don't even do house work at home yet I help mop her floor. I think she was sick or something.

Spending the nights on the computer drinking. yes we were 13. Yknow you are best friends when you can be in the same room, not talk at all but not feel awkward

Our idiotic moment of trying to be brave and then seeing the old man, security guard and three heads, I will never forget crying with her when we realize we were the only ones seeing those stuff.

Chinese new year.

okay, so we grew up and turned 14, we still had much fun going mad and acting like wild kids.

We literally were absent from school like 75% of the time. And when we are late instead of rushing we'd go to mac's for breakfast or to her grandma's place to sleeeeep.

And upon seeing the school gate being close to late comers we would just walk away to avoid the punishment (running)

We were always late or absent together, and our form teacher always suspected we did it on purpose,but its funny 50% of the time we were late or absent together, its not planned. It just happened.

But still with pure hearts to love. HAHAHHAHAA!

One funny thing is, We always ALWAYS ALWAYS breakup at the same time and end up crying ,drinking and smoking together at some dark alley. Its funny.

But she always get back with the SAME guy. while I find some new random dude to "love"

Our "wanna-be" days. Going to pubs, drinking, smoking, dressing up ,Hanging out with old dudes, CAM WHORING.

HAHAH. Seeing this picture makes me laugh so hard now. I'm sure you remember this! HHHAHAHAAA.

Dear silly little biatch,

Though we can't talk as much now, I'd always regard you as my truest and bestest friend. We may have chose different paths now, we may have changed into two different kind of person now, we may have lesser time to chat but our friendship will stay the same.

Thinking back, I miss my time with you the most. Wish It could replay again and again.

2012-01-19T12:21:00.000-08:00

Often we crave for what we do not need,

resulting with affliction at the heart.

I must admit, My body clock is screwed.

I am pretty sure something wrong with my body, I am literally surviving on 3 hours of sleep and one meal and a tea break with snacks daily now. However, somehow miraculously I am gaining weight. My body is absorbing the earth's natural energy in the air **ticko face**

Anyways, I don't know if its the lack of sleep, But I can't help but be forced onto a emotional roller coaster.I won't lie, My emotional break downs are terrible. If I'm wearing red while breaking down, people may mistake me for Mrs,Lucifer. My temper is just that bad. Perhaps its my time at home. I've been in my room daily and though i love pink, my room is like a friggin pink jail cell. I CANT BREATH.

So ,renovation starts next week. Slowly packing up now, But I gotta start planning for time to paint and stuff. Take it slow and steady and perhaps in 3 weeks I'll have a AWESOME room!

okay, So some pictures updates from my holiday, The two months that I did not touch my lappy.

okay, So I planned a event with RYAN(: I really like him as a co-partner, He is a real fun guy and we think alike, "JUST GET THEM DOWN AND DIRTY !"

So I was honoured to plan with him for my church event, Its like where we meet up in our groups to just chill and have fun together. And the event we planned for, it was the first time our group was meeting, so ice breaker's were necessary. which was interesting.

Yea, So as the host, we both sprayed our hair pink, and we drew a uni brown ,moustache, and goatee on our faces.

Everyone was split into three groups, each group had to draw on their faces. hehee! that's why me and Ryan drew on ours, so they won't complain.

group 1- uni brown

group 2- moustach

group 3- goatee.

SEXAYYYYYY

Anyway there was one activity, the win was to achieve this :

I decided i could do it this way:

HAHAHA, Anyway, here are some of the other group with their face drawings.

I sang "pretty lady walking down the street" AHHAHAHA. It was hilarious, after the little games, we went out to play WATER GAMES. Everyone got dirty.

Me and Ryan got dirty water threw at us afterwards. Annoyingz~ But everyone had fun, can't wait for our next event, Rachel and David are planning the next one, I'm sure its gonna be much better! Oh, And its like a open event, so anyone can come, You don't have t be like a christian or whatever.

Astalavista babeh

2012-01-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

A million guys around

but only you could break me the way you do.

So , I have finalized my schedule. Shall be home schooling this year, Since I failed my O's, I believe I can do well if i study harder.

I shall aim to understand my textbooks instead of blindly memorizing cause that has obviously got me no where.

Shall post a quick and short one, I've got this gig, I'm paid 100Bucks $$$ To make a video for some woman's wedding. Quick cash CHAAA CHINGGGGGG $.$

one day of computer for a hundred bucks. Am i lucky or am i lucky:)

Okay, So updates on my holidays, Christmas partyyyyyy.

The reason why I wore a mask throughout the party is because, I was sick but TASMIN FONG WAIMUN forced me to leave my house and attend the party, I was feeling quite down then so, yea.

WORLD'S CUTEST BABYYYYYY~

Gift exchange, Fighting with waimun for the body shop present HEHEHEHEEEE ,Soap and everything the full set inside, Can go home have my personal spa. I dint get it in the end, neither did waimun though.

Venessa*hearts*

Games, I dint play. SICK

2012-01-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but rather the judgement that something else in more important then fear.

Okay, SO I got my results and it stank like stinky tofu.

I did horrible. I failed two subjects, I won't say Im upset but I will say i do regret. As I had only studied for two subjects thinking i would retake the rest this year, however I failed the subjects I focused on and passed the rest. SO. I have no choice but to retake them all.

Story line. STUDY HARDER THIS YEAR.

Every year there is a year end party in my church with different themes.This year end partehhh's theme was "A nights tale"

So I decided to be the basic princess. just simply a tiara and white dress was fine with me.

BUT BUT BUT Fong waimun decided she wanted to be a GREEK GODDESS. Wish I took a video of her announcing her costume plan. GREEEEEK GODDESS. hahahhahahhahhaaaaaaaaa!

PARRRR-TEHHHHHHHHHH~

Stayed over at caiman's place the night before so we could get ready together.

The two host were really funny.

There was a waltz dance. Martin and erica danced. they looked soo cute !

THERE WAS GAMES-.-

And as usual. Being cursed with bad luck, I was asked to participate . 4 girls 4 guys but I end up being dressed.

Singing by the girls. REALLY GOOOOD(Y)

I wish I had the ability to sing):

COUNT DOWN.

They danced like crazy, I was at the ruth top.

Photo taking with Waimun the GREEEEK GODDESSSSSS. Btw we switched dress, I was kinda like REALLY careful cause her dress was like really expensive apparently. So I was like super lady like that day. I did not dare eat or dance in the damn dress.

YES I TOOK THIS TWO AWESOME PICTURES> I AM SUCH A GOOD PHTOTOGRAPHER.

Everyone started fooling around after the parteh~

2012-01-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

Push your luck,loose your fingers.

Hehehe, Miss my face? Yes. I have apparently GAINED weight. My hard work has paid off. Look and my chubby cheeks LUVVVVINNNN IT~

Chubby-ness helps my smile seem more sincere.Cause I'm not a very smiley nor a very happy person. So a good smile would be good for me, cushion my first impression on others.

Yes, So the holiday's are over, and I have time to blog. Thinking about the amount $$ I have spent through the past month is simply depressing.. But looking at my new wardrobe make me so darn happy. and then when I got tired of them i became sad again):

OKAY. So my new years plan :

1. I'm going to spend more time with my bestfriends this year.

2. I'm going to pamper myself the right way.

3. I'm going to swim twice a week.

4. I am going to renovate my room.

5. I am going to study 6hours per day 2 subjects per day.

6. I am going to read my bible and pray everyday. YES I am.

7. I am going to restart playing the piano.

8. I am gonna get myself a new guitar.

9. I AM GOING TO PASS MY O LEVEL WITH ALL A's

My HAPPY TICKO FACE hehe**

Yes. I am very eggggcited. I start next week. This week gotta do administration and planning.

Anyway, a few updates on how i spent my holidays.

My best friends SISTER came over to Singapore, And my sister's BESTfriend came to singapore too. So we had like non stop massive sleepovers. While everyone made a mess in MY ROOM.

And I did something that was on my bucket list. TRY dancing. AHHAHA. Some guy from india's got talent came over to singapore and taught a few dancing lesson.

He is such a great dancer. Yea.

So after my ONE dancing lesson. I realize, I am a AWESOME supporter(: And I suck and dancing.. I am simply TERRIBLE. not even GOOD. I am TERRIBLE.

Me and dancing , its a crime.

And One of my bestest friend birthday was during the holidays. Spent my precious $$ on a dumb cake for him. HAHAHAHa

It was a lame cake with the *awkward turtle cartoon on it. HAHA. This is what you get if you are my friend and you are lame(:

And my Olevel study support group came over to my place to CELEBRATE.

We cooked a meal. which was Quite delicious. AHHAA,we dint get food poisoning so its a good thing.

Okay shall update more soon. Gotta get to finishing up some stuff.

ASTALAVISTA BABY

2011-12-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

Don't expect real people if you can't handle the truth.

Don't expect the truth if you can't speak the truth yourself.

Yj just got married! So happy for her (: I was very amazed through the wedding, The traditions and all. It was very romantic seriously and loving!

So like the grooms had to fight to get to the bride.

And the moment finally came, He opens the door slowly to seeing his lovely bride sitting there waiting for him, And she waits patiently to the door opening and her love entering. GOSHHHHH.

At the ceremony the long red car park the walk of her life. As she steps closer and closer she looks at the man she is about to give her everything to. Step by step she gets closer to the next chapter of her life. The new adventures she will face together with this guy she is gonna be with for the rest of her life. She meets her other half.

And as she gets closer , he looks at his beautiful bride, excited to spending his life with her, to love her to protect her. To impress her. He looks at her knowing she is the one.

The best friend stands behind him looking at his friends bride, looking at the smile on his friends face. The groom stands on the altar with the support and blessing from his best man.

And her best friend stands by the alter waiting for her, Watching her walk in so gracefully feeling so happy for her. She stands there and assist the bride with her gown like how she will be supporting her through everything else.

The ceremony begins the priest starts his speech but in both their minds they can't wait, with the priest talking and explaining the life of a married couple and the power of the ceremony their mind fills up with thoughts of how they can't wait to be together for that kiss for their first kiss.

This is the kinda wedding I want to have , A wedding whereby the kiss we have on that day itself is our first kiss. A day where I know he is the one I want to spend my life with and he knows I'm the one he wants to spend his life with .

congratulations.

Oh and The groom had a little surprise for his bride, A performance by us, I played the piano duet with rennee and steffi,sarah &ruth sang. we did the song "when you say nothing at all"

Look at my ugly short fingers.
PRACTICE DAY

Lovely

2011-11-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

What may seem beautifully perfect outwardly,
may be harboring venomous stings underneath.

Exams are finally over and I'm not gonna stop smiling.

My holiday schedule is super packed! Spending this time wisely, cause when results are released my freedom is permanently damaged. I will never see the sun ever again ! I'd be locked up at home in my room with only books to feed off so i would pass my O level retake.

I ain't joking.

So, Currently I have decided to shall get A JOB. Yes.

For people who know me, I really can't work. I had a job once, I got fired after like an hour, that really sucked.But its okay, I'm older now I believe I can do it and earn my way into the independent world.

since I have nothing to do except play eat and sleep, I decided to add flavors into my life, I've started my reading habits again.

Currently reading this book titled "Beautiful" by katie piper.

Its about this beautiful model who met this physco obsessed guy, eventually they dated then he raped her and almost killed her then hired someone to splash acid on her.

Her face was burnt, she lost her looks, which was everything to her. It talked about how she got back on her feet with the support of her family and her friends who stayed by her side throughout.

I really do recommend this book, It emphasizes on the importance of family and friends, and the black hole of society. The hole everyone is getting sucked into in the current century.

Personally reading her story really got me developing a great sense of respect for this woman. Her will to fight on, And her story has reminded me of my root of support, My family.

Too many times, I take my family and my friends for granted because I am just so focused on my life's achievements ,goals and hurts, I'm so busy competing in the world I neglect what truly matters. Many a time we feel alone we feel tired, but we were the ones who chose to walk alone. There are always people wanting to support us, but sometimes we push them away ourselves.

Also because of how superficial this world is becoming many, especially girls get really insecure causing many problems. If we choose to walk by the superficial road, emotionally we're the ones whose gonna suffer and face the dire consequence. Superficial friends, superficial life, I doubt being superficial is fulfilling cause nobody knows the real you. It takes away the meaning of friendship relationship basically love.

I really love this book and recommend it to other's who read. Its really meaningful and inspiring (Y)

Peace out yo

Have a pleasant holiday ahead

Rebecca

2011-10-26T14:00:00.001-07:00

Enchanting his voice ,deadly it's tune,
beautiful features hides a secret grin,
coated with gold covering earth's filth.

Appearance deceive. What appears beautiful may turn out to be just another ugly lie. Dig for what's inside not take what's outside.

Looks vanishes in time, but the soul stays forever.

2011-10-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

The heart may think it knows better,
however what is desired,
may not be what is needed.

Viciously earning titles like "best student of the year" ,"best attendance" ,"top scorer" and many more is now required for us teens, studying hard , excelling in our studies ,to be the best of the best.

Even with our GCO exams. Its not about how many questions we got right, its how many questions we got right compared to other students taking that same paper. That's how we are graded, if everyone passes the bar is set higher and the lower scored ones fail. Are we going for examinations or competitions its hard to tell the difference now.

Education is now set according to how a competition is, but how can we complain. Society is 10 times worst aint it? That is why I'm not surprised to see people turning out to being so competitive in everything. The education system ,drilling the competitive attitude into kids minds while Society breaks those who aint.

Education becoming such a big thing and what kind of job becoming who you are,thats what is put into all our minds. This poisonous thinking this corrupted attitude has been turning the human race into a bunch of mindless worldly workaholic zombies.

A piece of my thought, riches,jobs, titles, fame, power what would all these mean. Everyone eventually dies and you either go up or down, it don't matter how famous,how powerful you are. You go into the soil and thats that, People move on and eventually forgets you. Unless you can name me every single king in the past of every country who was famous and powerful.

Treasure life and the people you love.

The world can't give you the warmth your family could. Working won't listen to you when you are down.

Money won't cover you with a blanket at night.

Just so dissed when I see people putting their jobs above their families.

Baby is back home and well! Fetched him today earlier on, HIS MEDICAL BILL WAS RIDICULOUS It went up to 3K +++ I felt that stab in my heart when mama signed the bill.

Apparently he swallowed a soft toy explaining his failing body system. He had to be operated ,they took the toy out so he is living and well now! Back to his naughty and clumsy self!

Hope he learns his lesson bout eating everything. His little adventure and play time with my toy caused us 3k.

2011-10-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

No point trying to hide it,

I know I got a problem

when it comes to affairs of the heart.

My little baby boy is currently living at mount pleasant animal hospital. His been there since Sunday and his medical bill has already gone up to $$900++.. I don't know how long more is he going to have to stay there. Sigh,I feel bad having need mama spend on this.Should have been more watchful.

Oh well, O's are nearing, And I'm studying a little harder then i usually do proud to say. I'm trying, but I'm just so annoyed and bothered by Sunny's issue. I hope he'll recover soon. I don't think I could handle more,mentally and financially.

Have been visiting him religiously daily. His improving bit by bit.
Today this little monkey jumped out of his cage the moment I opened it! He refused to go back in I had to carry him for an hour and a half like a little baby, gently rocked him till he fell asleep.

This really huge dog kept barking && whining when his owner left but my PIGGY still slept soundly in my arms like there's no tomorrow. **shakes head**

Mama && papa heading to Taiwan in the morning, They'll be there till Monday night. And mean while I'll have to handle Sunny's issues. **cross fingers** hope nothing bad happens. Really..I doubt I could handle anything myself.

The little devil just ended her PSLE and is going wild. following her older sister's footsteps.

2011-10-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

How do you cope or prepare to loose something/someone irreplaceable?

Its like 2.3oAM now. I'm monitoring my little baby's drinking timing and intake.. He ate nonsense food out of the garbage and is now really sick.Gonna bring him for his ultra sound tomorrow at the animal hospital. I swear I can cry right now.

The veterinarian said he might have to go through surgery which is worrying.. My poor baby. **shakes head* his been to the vet twice already, yesterday and today.Canceled all my plans today to stay home and take care of him.Moved my bed beside his in the living room. I'm gonna camp here till he recovers.

Sunny is the best thing that ever happen in my life. His the most important companion in my life. he's my best friend I don't know what I'll do if I were to loose him..

Every time I'm upset,every time I'm depressed,every time I cry my little sunny never fails to come sit on my lap or lie on me and lick my tears ,lick my nose and eyes till I start giggling...He'd sit by me while I hug him and cry, he'd bark at papa or mama even sist every time they'd use a harsh tone on me or every time they try to wake me up my little sunny growls at them chasing them away..

My little naughty baby who pee's all over the house ,then runs to me for protection knowing I won't ever let anyone hit him ..

My greedy little pig who snatches my blanket at night hiding under it sleeping like a pig.

My little scardy cat who snuggles with me every time it rains and there's thunder/lightning!

My greedy little baby who gobbles everything that fits into his mouth up.

My cheeky little baby who disturbs sist till she cries! **THUMBS UP**

My petty petty boy who shits on mama's table cause she screamed at him the night before!

My little precious baby..

Nothing must happen to you,I'll be so lost and alone if you're not here to annoy me and comfort me daily...It's so painful seeing you in so much pain ...It kills me to see you so weak..Its driving me crazy. Tears swell up every time I see you lay on blanky beside me so lifelessly. I can't rest I can't do anything but stay up and watch you ....I can't loose you...It'll be 2345y1298569283569`23658742482 times worst then loosing that jerk face....I can live without him but I can't go on without you my little monster... Just get well please...I suck my tears up cause I don't want you to sense my sadness ...My little baby sunny please stay strong.. SIGH.All I can do now is watch you...complain tweet blog. Sigh......

2011-09-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

Cause of you I am running out of reasons to cry,

we will still live on through each other,

underneath your cloths there's a endless story.

Know what I miss? I miss playing the piano ,every key played a trouble flows freely away with each imaginary treble clef. I miss playing my troubles ,my burdens away through music. I know this sounds super cliche but songs are able to express one's mood if you choose the right songs and have an imagination as big as mine. *BIG SMILE**

Stayed over at my dearest Louisa's place till monday then head to school together. Hanged out with Ian and fuquan the day before. These buffoons missed their last train and instead of cabbing they rather spent like 90Bucks on a chalet-.- Retarded.

HOW CUTEEEE.

Our so called "study session" FAILED.

2011-09-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

When you break a promise,
You're breaking a heart.

Spent my entire weekend with WAIMUN. HAHAHA. Happy birthday !

Went over to her house on friday night, 12AM walked in her room with a cake. HAHA. When I was there her parents was out and there was a black out. HOW NICE. in the end fuquan had to climb the ladder fix the switch which in the end I FIXED. Must take credits HAHAHHA

showed her videos prepared by our over seas best,good friends(: Then at 1AM, the rest who dint make the video met us online Skype to wish her. Her first birthday surprise(:

Next day, She left the house early for her flea, Then I headed out get deco and everything , Waited for her to come back while all her friends came over, we waited for her to return then SURPRISED HER IN HER ROOM. Hhahahaa.

some overseas friends called on Skype too
After everything everyone left, I stayed over again. Opened presents.

THESE BALLOOONS TOOK FOREVER TO BLOW.

I know. I'm wearing Pj's thats life.

2011-09-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

You're going down,

Cause I'm waking up.

Exams.are.coming.and.I'm.not.studying.

I.AM.SIMPLY.COURTING.DEATH.

DO.VISIT.MY.GRAVE.MY.DEAR.FRIENDS.

O's are just round the corner and I'm slacking away like a pig. Argh. I doubt any amount of studying can help me catch up with the 4 years I wasted away.

Know what I detest? What I REALLY REALLY hate? People who hurt others to make themselves feel better. Does it work? Does it really? Its called being selfish and self focused.

You'll end up living a life wearing a mask. Cause you can't bear the thought of showing others who you really are. You may have a billion friends but you'll always feel lonely and pathetic. You live in fear. fear of being judged when you are being just you. you'll live alone, lonely cause no one truly knows you, you live a lifeless life, cause you live life pleasing others.And the root of all this nonsensical crap is simply insecurities. But I know everyone is insecure I am? Who ain't? I think 90% of girls on this planet are insecure inside.

But so what? You gonna let that insecurity in you eat you up? Let it turn you into a Lil demonic monster?

Everyone is insecure. But the difference comes in from the way you handle that insecurity rooted inside. You could let it ruin you, turn you into something ugly, let it control your life, let it hurt the people around you and yourself? OR You could control ,master it, use it to your advantage, admit it face it overcome it use it to improve your weak spots.

Letting it turn you into something so ugly and scary will only lead to regret.Regret when everyone leaves. Regret when you're exposed. Regret when you're alone.

ARGH,change of topic now .

Anyway came out of the exam hall stressed out and my dearest friends started cam-whoring. Nothing new, HAHAHAHHAA but the fun part is ME ruining their every picture! MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA!

I never fail to annoy them this way. Same routine "Rebecca smile leyy! SMILE PROPERLY LA! Try and look like a human for once pleaseeee! "

HAHAHA. I did smile. Till the count of three I change my face seconds before the picture is taken. Why am I so annoying! HAHHAHAHHAHAA.

Now, Every time I smile in a picture, I get the comment "WOW. you look human" from my dear kylin. HOW NICE. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA

I.AM.SO.AWESOMELY.ANNOYING.

HOW.DO.I.DO.IT?

WHY.AM.I.SO.COOL **winks**

2011-09-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

The thicker applied make up, the lower her esteem.

Who in this world really loves another for who they are inside.

Even if there is,

they've been eaten long ago by this hungry hungry world.

I look lika ALIEN In da picture ! HAHHAHAHHAAAAAAA How cute. Cutest baby girl I've ever taken a picture with.

I am so tired. History test tomorrow. Just.Kill.Me.Please

Stress like mad woman. Its like why study all these crap? I doubt they'll come in handy when I am a adult... I don't see adults using quadratic equations daily or even yearly. Waste of my time. If you ask me I feel that the government is filling teenagers time with school so we would cause lesser problems. No joke.

Sometimes people just got to hold on. You got to fight for what you want. Treasure what you have . You think You've figured everything out, Well there's much more to life, We'll never find out life's meaning recking our brains like that ,only through living and experiencing . You see me you see everyone as a fool. But truly are we ? Are we? You dint fight for the ones you loved, And now they're gone one by one leaving,they left because you're afraid of the pain caring might cause. They left and you know you didn't try your best. Don't point your fingers at others,cause you're pointing 4 back at yourself. There are consequences to every individual choice made,consequence to the person making these decisions. Be wise with your life.

Hanged out with Sarah and the rest, she's back at England now MISS HER SO MUCH ):

OUR FAIL ACT LIKE MODEL POSES ! AHHAHAHHAHHAHAA

2011-09-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Its been so long,

Sometimes I wonder how will I stay strong.

I spent my day wasting away on the couch. After blogging I'm gonna burn midnight oil and STUDY. No joke dudez. Know what I hate? The stupid auto correcting that macbook has,I'm spelling it that way on purpose stop correcting me! I AM YOUR MASTER.

Forgive and forget.

A very commonly used phrase ,every time a friend is angry with someone we'd use this phrase. Well I do. But its easier said then don't I guess. I've been doing some soul searching on my free time recently, through my many conflicts with friends in the past I realize I've never settled them, I simply let the friendship slide no matter how long a friend they were to me or how much they meant to my heart. And then I realize I was such a avoider.

That was my problem. I avoided so much I'd rather hide then fix anything. but deep in my heart I din't forgive them,the people who aint perfect, I couldn't find a heart to forgive them for being just human when I was.

I use to think so much, I forced myself into learning how to read people, to try and guess what their thinking,to contemplate the people around me. How foolish was I. But sometimes not knowing is the best solution to attaining peace in the mind.

I look back in regret, regret of things I've had to loose, But I had my gains to. Everyone simply grew up and move on. No point in regretting now. Cause life is not about regrets. The ex boyfriend, the old friends, they're gone and thats that. Find someone new find new friends and just don't commit the same mistakes. Although the old will never be replaced in our hearts life goes on.

Went to sentosa cove (vivien's house) crashed their BBQ partyyyy~ teehee.

The night before I crashed at tasmin's place, spent the whole night at macdonald with clarence and fuquan STUDYING. WEnt back at like 6, squeezed on her TINY bed (she should sleep on the floor la) slept till it was like 3 then went shopping buy the food and all.

On the train she took the most unglam pictures of me ever taken in history I swear.
look at her COOOOOOOL face, HAHAHHAHAHAA. Don't mess with me girl.

All the plastic bags. #LIKAAUNTY

While shopping this 2 lazy PIGs. Forced me to push them around. FAT PEOPLE WHO ARE UNAWARE OF HOW HEAVY THEY WERE... They think they baby ,sit in trolly. Sit int roll still cam-whore TERRIBLE SIA.
LOOK AT POOOR ME PUSHING BEHIND.

AWWWW, I snapped sooo many picture's of the both of them cause they're just soooo CUTEEEE together **insert a billion kezillion hearts**

I am super proud of myself for taking this picture. SUPER LOVE la. If you don't like it scram. I like.

took a bus into the place. On the way the view was wicked awesome! It was a true motivation for me to study .. AHHAHAHAA

Our attempts to drag tasmin into the freezing water. WE WERE SUCCESFULL IN THE END.

I tooooook thissss! SO NICE RIGHT. HAHAHHAA. Too bad its not me *frowns**
Yes that is me, Sitting on the table eating like a greedy pig. The best place to sit, I could reach everything I craved for la.

I know we'll never be the same again. My mind says let go but my heart say's stay. Do you really want to let everything we've been through slip through ? Do you really not want to fight for this friendship? Are you really willing to let it all go?

2011-09-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

You may find a girl with much better qualities,

A prettier smarter skinnier girl,

but you'll never find a girl who'd love you like I did, this I assure.

O's are coming. I feel very unready, but what can I do? I guess I just gotta try my best, All my life I've always thought its okay? If I fail I'll jut go like overseas or something, thinking back I'm such a spoilt brat, Though I'm not into brands or fashion and those stuff, but I really am very spoilt. I'd expect to get what I want and I'll never accept a "No" to anything.

I remember being so darn spoilt as a kid that during my first year in secondary school my friends couldn't stand me! HAHAHA. but through the 4 years I've changed a lot with the help of my dearest secondary school clique. But somehow I guess the spoilt brat is still in me, It don't show on my outer appearance but my thinking is still as childish and entitled. Getting everything I wanted has mould me into becoming a very lazy person who won't work hard. And I really regret it.

I remember as a kid, Mama use to send me to every kind of class,be it from sports to arts to music ,it was to a point I spent most of my secondary one life going for classes daily, Felt so lifeless . In the end I rebelled and got out of everything, but now I know it was for my own good.I really regret giving my parents such a hard time breaking their hearts with my foolishness.

But now its not too late, I'm studying hard and I just hope I could do well for my O's so I could make my parents proud. I've decided to change, I don't want to be the spoilt brat that I am. Inside out I want to be sincere and hardworking I want to be someone my parents will be proud of. Because being foolish,smoking,scolding vulgar what will all these do for my life but ruin me? Why chase after things so meaningless,why waste my youth like that...I just hope its not too late.

Study hard ,play hard,

everything requires balance, life, Mother earth, including happiness.

Watched cowboy vs aliens. honestly,ITS RETARDED. The action was good,it was taken real nicely but the story line is just plain bogus.
Went for shashiiiiiiii~ Cravings must be satisfied. I don't know why I love shashee so much. IN LOVE BABY. Healthy and scrumptious. BEST KINDA FOOD EVER.

This 3 people, Use my lappy SPAMMMMMM pictures like mad. Self love is no love people.

Missing our late night chats won't change anything cause a one-sided relationship will never work out, but I'll be here if you ever need me,though it may not seem so, you may think I don't care no more, but if you really need someone I will be there, I will make time for you when you're in need. just hope you'll know that and remember it .know that I'll try my best though I can't be there 24/7.Wish you happiness. All is well.

2011-09-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

You seem to move on easy, everytime I try,
I fall, without my wings I feel so small.
Guess I need you baby.
I see you in my dreams you're hunting me.

O's coming and I'm still failing. Don't know what to do with my life anymore. On one hand I'm turning into a fat ass, On the other I'm becoming a useless bum. I really see how great life is. HAHA. both ways gonna starve myself and study. I DONT CARE. I must pass.

Partehh at Ian's place last mondayy. And send the drunk pigs home. If they read this,GOOD. Lesson learnt Don't get drunk and let rebecca know about it She'll tell the world !
Ian's pup, alvis ! HAHAHA SUPER CUTE lika big bear! Cant help but hug him awhhhh I miss him manz. SOOO KEWWWWT

HappyBirthdayy(:

School reopening tomorrow. Gonna study then sleep. NIGHTS YO!

I miss the late nights on the phone..Looked forward to you returning but it was the downfall of everything.

hi

2011-09-01T22:28:00.001-07:00

hi , see the diff? hehehheehhe ,.

k bye

xoxo;

steffi

2011-09-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

Stop your crying it'll be alright, Just take my hand hold it tight

I'll protect you from all around you I'll be here don't you cry

My arms will hold you keep you warm and strong.

From this day on,now and forever no matter what they say you'll be here in my heart always

They just don't trust what they can't explain.

Don't listen to them what do they know?

We need each other. I know,We must be strong.I'll be there always.

When the song sings to the weeping soul.

BALI DAY 4:

Woke up, book out for those who were leaving in the noon. The rest of us went for lunch together~ Then shoppingggggggg ! Hanged out the whole night then caught the plane back to singapore): SAD~ Tears flowing everywhere.

Anyways, Last december went to India with people from diff countries to help out and do charity~ WE HAD OUR REUNION IN BALI YAYYYYY
but those form India could not make it): Oh well. I missed them so so so so muchhhhh! It took like forever to get this picture taken la

Went shopping~ The mall was right beside the beach. HOW COOL IS THAT SIA?
Love my girls~

Bought super many friendship bracelet with so many different honeys

My ROOMIES FOR THE TRIP! HAHAHA Though we spent most of our time sleeping when we're together I love them so much! Everytime I bath I hear them laughing playing weird games HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA They are super cute!

HAHA. On the bus On our way CAM WHORE

Went to this italian place for dinner. They had awesome pasta! HAHA I ate like 3 plates cause hannah and tasmin can't finish. HAHAHAHA I know I know. I am a fat pig.
The streets were awesomeeee I tell you! Damn like vintage, BUt I was so busy eating I dint go picture taking.

Stayed up late till like 2AM waiting for the bus to leave for the airport): CRIES.

At the lobby some of them stayed up to send us off!

This is BELLA! Love her so much. hahaha She's super super pretty and talented but shy about all these. Everytime we praise her she'll be so shy HAHAHHA

bye bye sweet sweet bali.. I miss you so much. how peaceful and calm everything was...

2011-08-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

The strong one's are actually the weakest inside.
Sometimes the happiest are the most hurt.

DAY III Bali! Gathered a few pictures. So darn lazyyyy~ HAHA.

Btw I'm so unhappy with my new lappy. lousy like shitz, MAcbook NO GOOD. Nono! like a slow~ HAHAHA Its like 4 now, and I just woke up.Thats the life man(:

Anyway my third day at bali, woke up EARLY IN DA MORNANG. breakfast, then we all took the bus to lunch, then went white water rafting, then shopping then dinner. It was really fun!

The breakfast was GOOOOOOD!

Anyways when I was like 3 or 4 I went to bali with my parents and their friends plus their kids. and guess what? all those kids took a picture and we're all at bali TOGETHER! We re-took the picture!\

This is the one we took when we were young at BALI.
We re-took it HAHAHa at BALI. All grown up. but it was really cool! HAHAA We want to retake this the next time we go to bali!
Love them so much~ Childhood friends will always take-up a important part of your life.

Anyway, We had lunch in this tiny huts in the field, we all had DUCK.
LIKE COOOL RIGHT?!
I was hungrayyyyyyyy

This is the BEST DRINK EVA! super nice.

I miss it so much,its damn addictive I tell you!

Back on the bus~

Water rating.

I was damn fail.

I kept falling and getting stuck,HOW ANNOYING. My balance is VERY bad. VERY.

I look super fat I know.

After that. We bathed and got changed, We all decided to dress up for dinner at the beach ! YAY. Fun night out.
On the bus I sat on the floor, I was just soooo tired and I wanted to lean all over and spread my legs out.

We stopped by a mart, where we bought stuff, for really great prices. YAY

The only picture I can find of the mart with Hannah's face AHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

DINNER BY THE BEACH~ Awesomeeeeeee !

Okay thats all. Sayonarah~ gonna sleep or something.

2011-08-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

Through the camera's lenses the simplest place explored
with a different angle , a new world unfolds.

Okay, So I'm too lazy to look for the bali pictures, So I shall post about my more recent life, Papa got me a new lappy && phone! So I'm very happy! HAHAHA. Uploaded pictures into my lappy, took me awhile to figure it out, I'm not very good with technology .

I decided to decorate me room with the PINK THEME ! like happygalll! heheeee. ** BIG BIG SMILE**

I got a dream catcher at bali hoping it would get rid of my endless nightmares. since like BIRTH I either have a nightmare or I have a blank dream. Sad I know.

(my dog looks like a little alien. )

Sonia left singapore for america to studyyyyy! *SAD FACE*

Drew a card for her w Tasmin, I was so happy, Its been a long LONG LONGGGG time since I last drew. I miss it soooo much!

Manage to Skype with bella using my iPhone YAYYYY! Love my phone! Got to catch up with her,

She was playing some stupid Facebook game while we were skyp-in, so I decided to snapshot her serious face, **cheeeekyyy smileee*

Had a Mini picnic with SHERMAINEEEEEE **inserts a billion kezillion hearty's**

We went to yishun jetty, Lay on the wooden CLEAN NEW floor,

Had, strawberry w choc fudge, grapes, jap rice, beef, salmon, mayo, kimchi! and some weird vege thingy. HAHHAA Best picnic EVAAA.

We saw many weird shape-ed clouds, HAHAHAA

UGlY fuquan's face+ MYYY gorgeous long hair! Figure out how this is done and I'll reward you!
DONT EVA USE MY PHONE TO DO THIS KINDA NONSENSE. I will post it. I know NO FEAR TASMIN FONG WAIMUN. mwahahhahahahhahaaaa

She was bored and decided to play with MY phone. she edited this HERSELF.

Biatch came back to singapore, for 2 months .

went back to school together ~ Took our N lvl certs, I dint get mine.. Din't pay library fine............

how nice...

I'll be going back to take it soon. and pay that library fine... ARGH. feel so unhappy having to submit to the school. But what to do, ransom for my N lvl cert.

Both ways. BYE ADSS. FAREWELL. HOPE WE NEVER MEET AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAAAA! HOPE YOU MAY CONTINUE TORTURING YOUR STUDENTS KEEPING THEIR SKIRTS LONG AND HAIR NEAT. YAYYYYYYY FREEEDOMM IS SO SWEEEET.
THe toilet we use to hide in DAILY. HAHAHA

My baby's bdayyyy!
Went to swenson's with her EARLY IN DA MORNING. Hahahhaaa. The things I do for that girl is unbelievable.

okay Now I'm feeling lazy, shall go study or sleep. **thinks about it** HAHAHA who am I kidding. The princess is OFF TO BED ! Bye yo **peace out**

2011-08-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

You can go far far away,beyond the stars,
But you'll always have a special place in my heart.

Can't help but to feel this burden. This heavy load on me.

I feel so tired,so tired of nonsense people give me.But Its okay, I'll grow from this shit ,life tests us to widen our limits.

Yes, I am hurt, but that don't mean they've got the upper hand. I get it cause I'm not going to scoop down to that level.

Though I'm only like 17, One thing I've learnt in my secondary school is that, fighting,arguing blah blah won't get us no where.

It just puts us in a really childish light.As long as you've got a clear heart just move on with life.

Truth-finder's are the kinda friends worth keeping,

But with no opportunity these people would not stand out ,

Stand out from the crowd of two-headed snakes surrounding,

And you'll be stuck amongst these snakes,

Slowly belonging and loosing yourself,

Slowly heading to their direction of self-destruction,

Eventually destroyed without even knowing why .

BALI DAY II part 3

(games) After the opening ceremony before the awesome dinner had some games, Warm up to one another and stuff.

Nothing much. But the view rocked!

Bye lovelies**A BILLION HEARTY'S**

2011-08-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

I aint the smartest nor best looking, I aint perfect,

Its easy to replace me with a smarter,prettier girl,

But ,I promise,

you'll never find another who'd love you like I did.

BALI DAY II part2 !

Dinner ! After settling into our awesome rooms we had dinner at the beach right beside the hotel ! *insert a billion hearts**

It was sooo pretty! While eating we started taking picture at th beach! I had such a good time during dinner stuffing food into my mouth (: I really miss the super spicy food man! Espiecially the tom yam soup!GOSH! **drools** !

ROMANTIC-AA setting ! AHHA

Our room view! cool or what?

Fooled around with Tasmin's cam! I've always wanted to take a picture like that! but in the day laa, But this is good enough I guess? AHAHAHAHHAAA

Anyways met up with my darling's yesterday steamboat! Just like old times ! SUPER HAPPY. hahhahaa! Fire works too! Update pictures soon.

2011-08-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

Boy, If you want my future,

first let go of my past.

BALI DAY II part 1 -when the rest joined us ,Let the conference begin **insert a billion hearts**

Anyways, I've only posted my day 1 bali picture's shall post the rest soon.

So "opening ceremony picture"

Me and sean were on at the opening ceremony !

And later in the day saw my 2 darlings! MISSED THEM SOOO MUCHHHHHH

Everyone waiting to get their room keys.

BALI DAY II part 2 tomorrow~

2011-08-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

The phrase "friends come and go" has been proven to be true

so many times by so many people,

but then there are also those who proves that statement wrong .

those are the friends worth fighting for.

Be-lated birthday wishing to my baby girl!

We've been friends since like forever la~ Hahahaa, All the stupid memories we've built together is just so amazingly incredible !

If I was to write a list of my best friends I'd run to when my life is crashing down, she'd be one of the top 5 names that would pop into my head instantly !

Somehow, through my life's episodes, she's been there listening to me talk about my life and everything ,she never fails to listen loyally patiently lovingly with a understanding and sympathizing heart. She never judges she only loves.

It is truly a joy to have her in my life **BIG SMILEE**

Some picture's from her birthday celebration&& our trip to Bali together !

Loveee youuuuu
SURRR-PRIZEEEEEEE~

Rainbow cup cakes~
Baked by SarahTan ! Coool or what?! HAHAHAHHA
After the surprise ,went ice skating <3

Its been a long time, luckily I can roller blade.

Didn't really pay attention to the camera, this are the only pictures of me ): HOW SAD.
<3

PART 2!

Had debra(her BFF) hahahaa waiting at her house to surprise her.

Rainbow cake baked by DEBRA <3 !

Happy birthday girl! Love you loads.

Now you're a year older! our friendship has grown one year deeper,and shall continue growing. one day we'll sit and eat w our husbands and talk about this HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA as we always said we would <3!

I'll always be here for you yea, I'm just a few number's away ! HAHAHA

2011-08-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

How could one escape if she is her own prisoner

FINALLY ,papa got me a new laptop, Can start posting and all . Revive this dead blog. Lots happened since I last blog.

Drew this portrait of Sonia with tasmin, we spent like the whole night drawing this. Now I know shading skills are really important in drawing faces . Art is useful in life AMEN.

Sonia's left the country to study somewhere in England. Oh but we weren't able to draw out her pretty features though,Our skills not there yet! HAHA

Wonder if I'll ever get my lazy bum out of the country to study when I'm older. Or will I rot in Singapore for the rest of my life fighting for mrt/bus seats,working my butts of for a average-payed job?

I'm not that smart but taking SocialStudies,history && Economics has seriously opened my eyes to the true colour's of society.Prices of oil's are increasing thus everything is getting like damn exp laaa. By the time my generation takes over i think like a bottle of oil can go up to $$40 or even more.

Shall stop talking like a old naggy woman, but really who knows what the future holds eh? Shall not act smart anymore, maybe in the future we use milk as oil HAHAHA

Better sleep soon before Tasmin snatch for the bed! MWAHAHAA

Shall post more soon, Daily that is if I am disciplined enough ! HAHA

Peace out yo !

No lappy no online

2011-07-17T07:59:00.001-07:00

Myy lappy is broken so have not had a chance to update my pathetic blog. Shall update soon when I find a suitable PINK lappy. Meanwhile shall update w my iphone like noww:))

2011-06-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes its not friends we need,

but best friends,cause only they are true.

I'MMM BACKKKKK from Bali(: Went there for a teen conference ~ Like fun only la!

i went a day earlier so I would get to shop and relac relac abit(: Hahaha! went with steffi,shermaine & Ryan. Pictures tells it all.

On my first day I

1.took the airplane there

2.checked in

3.went to a nearby market place for lunch

4.shopped

5.went swimming at our villa

6.dinner

7.hung out in steffi's room

The next day I

1.had breakfast

2.headed to new hotel

UPDATE THE REST TMRW

On the train I was sleeping and half way through shermaine and stefif started quarreling arguing bout the clouds looking like cotton candy and the mountain that are "volcano's" Bimbo's **roll eyes** HAHAHHA

Love her ttm, We grew up tgt and now we are still growing up tgt! My lil sister(:
like all little sisters she annoys me and forces me to take pictures when I want to do other things! HAHAHAHHAHA
Her pathetic bag!
Shermain's ,steffi's mine. I'm the oldest, followed by steffi and shermain. I dont know WHAT they bring. Stuff like their pillows and everything in.
Nearby our villa, there was a market, Shopped there(:
BARGAIN LIKE MAD

Met yuinjun and some other adults who were living there too for lunch(:

Had lunch at a REAL Japanese restaurant, we saw the owner. scary looking man he is.

Steffi was soo entertained by the bottle. AHHAA fail~

Shopped after lunch till dinner~ Dinner at a nearby restaurant played cards while waiting for the food.
After dinner, on our way back to the villa!

Next morning, breakfast at another restaurant
IT WAS SO PRETTY. Sun rays were shining in

had to check out, cause we were moving to another hotel where the conference is. While waiting for our cab the 4 of us started cam whoring.
On the cabb we were kinda afraid, Cause we dint know if it would be safe for 4 teenagers to be on a cabb, but everything was fine(:

FUN FUN FUN FUN! Love bali~

2011-06-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

Everybody hurts some days,Its okay to be afraid,
Everybody hurts,everybody screams,
everybody feels this way and its okay.

Its 3AM now, and I'm up blogging && tweeting. Being the emo nemo the night brings out in me. I guess this is why people sleep at night,they say dreams are like a escape route. I guess anything that takes us,takes me away from reality is good enough for people who've come to see how cruel the world can be sometimes.

However honestly this year, I've started to change my perspective about the world, perhaps its the change of environment? I have no idea.

But being in a new school,being around different kinda people makes me think twice bout my concepts. Perhaps the world is not THAT dark & cruel.

Hmmm? Shall not waste my brain cells on such thoughts,

Had a GREAT weekend. SLEEPOVER's like crazy!

♥FRIDAY♥

♥The twins came over on Friday sleepover(:,

♥SATURDAY♥

♥went swimming on Saturday noon

♥met other's in the evening to have a mini BOWLING competition. (Never bowled before!)

♥HAD A FEW STRIKES !

♥ BEST SLUMBER PARTY EVER! me and 10 of my gurlzzxxczz!

♥Heart2Heart talk w tears and hugs!

♥Fight 4 toiletz!

♥SUNDAY♥

♥Breakfast tgt*insert a zillion heartz**

♥Rush 2 church

♥Spicy thai food w TASMIN.

♥Tasmin's house .

♥home w tasmin STUDY.

♥Sleeeepover with tas! (:(:

♥MONDAY♥

♥Wakup STUDY

♥Night, Chomzchomz w tasmin ,venessa && Jenny from koreaaaaaaa

♥Stayover at tas place!

♥TODAYYY♥

♥NEX mall study W tasmin & Alexis

♥ION,bought sunglasses $$37.9o*sad face* (rive island)

♥FAREAST,Awesome dress $$39.90**sadder face*

♥Clark quay meet venessa,jenny,clarence,fred & I forget who were the rest.

♥Papa fetched mt at tas home,

♥HOME SWEET HOME(:

Picture's from saturday's bowling competition(:

Slumber party picture's will be uploaded SOON

The thing with teens is, it takes FOREVER to take a group pic!

The same time this picture is taken, exactly one week later we'll all gonna be in Bali together YAYYYYYYYY!

2011-06-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

How ridiculously ironic when you fall out of love,

promise you'll never love again

then someone comes into your life and rips your heart out all over again.

My bayybeyys! Hahahhaa! Most of us knew one another from young, its nice having a reunion in Kuala lumpur together with our parents(:

Now the twins from JB are at my place(: Gonna go swimming ! then heading to safra to have a bowling match with the rest then gonna have 7 girls over for a awesome fantastica SLUMBER PARTYYY! with pop corn and scary movies screaming and crazy laughing.

From Singapore only me,rachel,renee, sarah and sean went. I had a good time with my childhood buddies there(: its nice to share such a wonderful experience with the people I love the most.

The pictures are funny cause Sean's so tall yet his hidden behind AHHAHA! Smart people like me and sarah choose to stand on chairs eh! AHAHAA

Sometimes I wonder what am I doing with my heart.

I need to start guarding it cause in the end I'll be the one hurting if i don't.

I gotta live my life, but not forget to guard it well.

I just hate it ,

knowing you're lying and dishonest.

Just cause I can be such a fool sometimes don't mean I like being treated as a fool.

well at least not by you.

2011-06-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

Don't be upset its over, be happy it happened.

The 3 things I love the most. 1.ICE CREAM , 2.PINK , 3.GAMES(: *winks*

I can't wait! I'm heading to Bali next weeeeeeek~ So EGG CITED(:(:(:(:(: gonna meet all my darlings there. AWW I miss them so much!

Ive been studying my butt's off recently, I've got my personal motivation to study which is workinggggg(: I don't wanna waste my life away anymore.

Gotta focus on whats important now, friendships,relationships and whatever comes and go,it changes under different situations, but my education will affect my whole life.

Thinking back I kinda missed all the lessons mama bombed me with, yes I had very Lil time to go wild and have fun but it is because I was so busy I dint really have the time to quarrel or have so many problems to handle socially. And I did get to de-stress.

So after O's I'm gonna continue playing the piano,swimming,drawing,running I don't think I'll ever ever EVER do martial arts though.... hated it so much ! Gotta get my life on track cause I don't think I would get the chance to do all this as a adult.

It sound kinda fun without all the tuition's actually ! Maybe I only hated the tuition & martial arts not everything else eh? HAHAHAH!

At kuala lumper, we had a 2 hour break, So we played cards while eating ICE CREAM(:

I really do miss you so very much, but looking back I think you've ruined my life and the bright future i had ,I cant believe I threw everything away for you. that made me truly pathetic . buts its okay, I'm glad you are gone, now I can see everything clearly, and I'm getting my life back. you've destroyed my heart & my future, but I'm not gonna let you succesfully destroy my life too. You have lost.

2011-06-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

After every storm comes a beautiful rainbow.

How could you enjoy and appreciate the beauty of everything if you've not seen the ugly horrific terror of everything.Without bad friends there are no good friends. There is no white if there is no black.

No one is perfect , and I've come to accept that fact. I've learnt how to love life by accepting mistakes. I made my own mistakes and have regretted it, life gives us shit but still time continues. Dont let yourselves drown in the shit, Cause it'll just stink up your life.

Honestly, after everything be it a bad breakup , end of friendships, betrayals or even regretted deaths life goes on, you plainly have 2 choices .Put in simple:

1.You either get a life and move on,choose a new path or something but MOVE ON.

2.dwell in the shit you're in as time moves on you drown in the same struggles and torture yourself by living in the past and then regretting that move. living a pathetic life of regret.

honestly speaking I chose choice no.2, its easier? cause I know moving on means having to fall. but it ain't no solution being a coward hiding in my past regrets . So I'm moving on, No more crap from the past. I heading towards the future baby!No point wasting my precious life. I'm meant for so much more. We all are.

Went to kuala lumper. Meet up with my babes there, had a great time! It was a celebration thingy, we had the seminar at a college the first day, their university was so pretteyyyy!

HANNAH's PAPA! hahahha his so cute!

Uncle Vincent && his wife, I stayed at their place for a week once they are such awesome people(:

you know what you people aint worth my thoughts. I know I dint do nothing wrong. Stop pushing me, If you really wana push tell me what did i do.

2011-05-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Life goes on with or without you.

Time waits for no one.

Today students all over Singapore took their chinese/malay O lvl's paper. In the noon when the paper is over, I see so many zonked students on their way home with the word "STRESS" on their for heads !

BUT, I'm so proud and glad to say I DON'T TAKE CHINESE MUAHAHHAHAHAAA! I stayed home to sleeeeep~ while they were pulling their hair and face fats out of stress I'm busy home dreaming bout something special *billion hearts**

Anywayys, I've gotten back my Midyear papers. I passed econs AMAZINGLY. And English too, BUT I failed math,combine humans,and I think I fail science. I'll know tomorrow.

O's please come later. I'm not ready for you ):

I've been studying a little bit more recently in fear of working as a road sweeper in the future.

Pictures from my family dayy outing*Insert a thousand smiles and hearts**

We use to have this every Saturday, but we all got busy so it stopped. But I'm glad we had one again!
Brought my beloved sunnyyyyyy to east coast YAYYYY! My lazy little baby was forced to swim and run !
Picnic by the beach (:(:(:(:

I know I look frigging fat): Been adding on alot of weight recently. I guess that happens when I laze around so much,

Trying to get sunny into the ocean is MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. I had to like carry him in. But he just swam out after going in. LAZY BABY!

What's scary about caring about people is when they disappoint you or hurt you. If you don't wanna be friends I understand, cause I am fully aware of what a disappointment I am. You'll have a better life without me anyways. I'll live with it. I don't wish to be a burden nor bother. So Wish you well in life . You'll find better friends. cause I don't have what it takes to be a good friend anyways.

2011-05-22T09:02:00.001-07:00

When you're whole world seems to be tumbling down, & you realize the person you want there for you the most is not,treasure the ones who are. Cause they'll be the ones who won't fail you, Don't be like the people who've let you down,don't let the people who cares for you down. It ain't worth loosing everything cause of one disappointment in life.

♥♥♥

I fell and now I'll learn. I've still life to live,I'm not about to give it all up just for bad friends and bored heartbreakers.

2011-05-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Where there's love,there's pain hunny.
If he screams and swears you're safe,
but if he keeps quiet somethings wrong.

EXAMS IN PROGRESS. No school tomorrow YAY, Suppose to meetup with 2Pigs to study but canceled last minute, So I shall EXERCISE. Yes! I've decided I want to live a better life(:

I spent half my day painting my terribly bitten tiny weeny nails bright orangy pink! AWESOME COLOUR, & I went through my past post's, my conclusion? I'm becoming an idiot. From stupid to dumb to idiot now going for moronic.

When I was younger, yes I admit I'm like emo and stuff, but I at least had a life. I use to go out daily,and be happy all the time. LIKE SINCERELY HAPPY. I wont make up excuses to be alone or to go home, I would never in a million yearz hide in my room the whole Saturday, I would by hook or by crook meetup with a friend be it a guy or girl,close or not.

My life in the past though a lil wild, was AWESOMELY ADVENTURE-ST. Meeting new friends! Riding on random guyz bikes! Meeting funny people hearing their stories bout their friends who died in accidents blah blah~ Maybe being wild hearing these kinda stories taught me how to treasure every single day I'm alive. Maybe having friends kept my mind of stuff.

Maybe life pushed me down hard and I never got up till now. Explaining the situation I am in now.

I would like to say "NO MORE! BECCA IS GONNA BE STRONG FROM TODAY ONWARDS" But I know that will just be a lie, I'll continue faking a smile tomorrow and missing someone badly in the night with tear filled eyes.

But you know what? That person would never miz me back. Yes I do miss that person so very much,I admit, I honestly will never ever forget him, but I've come to accept life goes on with or without him. I dont want to look back years from now and regret allowing some guy to come into my life and ruin my childhood.

I won't change over night, but I know I'll work on it bringing me one step closer to a better life, YEAAAAAA~

2011-05-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

She keeps quiet
cause she understands how painful it is for you,
but it wont stay that way forever,
cause she's only human.

Exams are coming. And life as a teenager begins. The pressure not from the exams,but from the people giving you the paper, teachers,parents,friends etc. I've never really tried hard to study, I guess its my way of coping. To not disappoint the people around me I make it seem like I didn't try so I wont have to come to accept the hardcore truth that I just can't do it.

I went to Kylin's chalet recently, and as I walk pass the beach, our beach.. The beach where we sat in the night ,under the stars and the nice big round moon, my heart sank. Remembering what you told me that night breaks my heart.

I guess no matter what there will always be that one person whom you will never forget no matter how much you want too. That one person you'll miss daily even if you don't see or talk to him. But life goes on, Just take whatever shit you're given and we shall then move on(:

I have so much emotional crap I want to crap out here in my blog right now, about how I hate having friends sometimes, bout how I like being alone at home cause the one and only person who would ever really understand me is myself and most probably zoyi is the next closest thing. Or I could crap about how some people are just so freaking stubborn and selfish, or about how helping sucks cause that thankyou would never come to you. Or maybe I could crap more about backstabbers and liars , or or or how caring and loving people could just hurt too much?

But blogging crap solves nothing.

Anyways, Some snapshots, I was bored~ I thought The outfit I had on made me look like some kinda ancient girl ! HAHA

People just don't know how well I hide my pain and how well I fake the smile on my face.

You don't know how much you mean to me, you don't understand how serious i can get,

you don't understand how serious i already am about this,

they just don't know how sincere i honestly can be

That I only pretend not to care so it wont hurt that much when i get disappointed..

Not talking to you breaks my heart but you will never know it.

you will never know, you will never understand how much i really do love you

All I crave for,all I ask for is your happiness darling(:

2011-05-10T02:45:00.000-07:00

Cause giving up means I am weak.

I have 4 more months till my O's arrive. Sighhhh~ Preparing my heart for the big fat juicy U's I'm gonna be getting on result day.

As the picture clearly shows my intentions . NO MORE BULLSHIT.

Life's been really annoying recently with all the shit its giving me the past month till now. I don't know what to get out of it? Am I suppose to not be myself cause that just ain't working.

Backstabbers should just FREAKING DIE.

I mean fine, you're insecure and whatever shit you feel, but you're not the centre of everything just cause you see things through your eyeballs it dont mean the whole world is for you.

You must have a great memory to be able to keep track of all the lies you're producing.

'He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.'

I don't give a shit when people make up dumb rumours, or stories, nor do i give a shit when idiots let out my secrets i trusted them with. What pisses me off is when they freaking not admit what they've did when I already got like concrete evidence on their idiotic moves. Seriously man.

Just put down your damn big egoistic pride and admit what you've done I'M NOT EVEN FREAKING ASKING FOR A SORRY MAN. seriously sia

Now apparently I cant freaking tweet cause tweeting creates problems. WTH man. I might as well throw the damn computer away no fb no tweets. so no one would know whats going on right.

I dint care so much bout whatever shit happening, but now its affecting my damn friendship which obviously crosses the line. Seriously screw up sia. One problem leading to another. When will this madness end. WHEN.

If one day you are to find out your bf/gf is your cousin, would you be disgusted?

2011-05-09T18:57:00.001-07:00

If one day you are to find out your bf/gf is your cousin, would you be disgusted?

Answer here

2011-04-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

' Girls just wanna have fun! '

I have nothing to post about now. I can go on and on, complaining and ranting my anger and frustrations out but will that help solve anything no? I've thought long and hard about my life, and my conclusion is that I've been leading a seriously pathetic life. So my solution is that I'm gonna start living a better one now.

I was reading my private blog,It was truly pathetic. Every post about HIM, Or me hurting from a backstabbing friend.

One of my post was about the enemy in the mirror. I shall start loving myself something I know I deserve, No more teary nights, no more "I miss him" complains , no more letting ungrateful brats stomp all over my face, no more hurting from ungratefull backstabbing friends. Now I live life for only 4 people, ME, MYSELF , I and Sunny(: (my doggy)

ungrateful,self-serving, backstabbing people can just get out of my life, cause you people no longer affect me, as I've grown out of my stupid, nice ,wishful self . **BIG BIG SMILE**

After everything, the last line, the last straw is crossed and gone, no more chances I'm saying right now, enough is enough. NO MORE TEARS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE IT.

Too other girls out there who are still MISSING that certain guy.

Just move on. Don't be the pathetic one, Lift your head up high, You're beautiful in your own way, don't let some guy no matter how special he is to you ruin your beautiful self.

Don't let one guy ruin everything, Don't let one guy take everything. The cure of recovering from whatever breakup pain is in our own hands We just gotta make the decision to move on.And I've made mine. Like finally after how many years. Feel like such a fool now looking back.

In a relationship you either breakup, or get married. So since things dint work out. move on, Be grateful it ended before marriage happened cause I'm pretty sure a divorce is gonna hurt even more.

So to all the heart broken single ladies , Party hard and just have fun , get back the girlie nature we all have that guys try to ruin, deeep deeeeeep down we all know, GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN(:

Oh, Had my mini slumber party with my hippo! And gooofy! AND GUIGUI* inserts a billion gazillion hearttttts** !! Camwhored with my ducky jamyyyy's and nice warm furyy booties on, in the nice cold room on my mini sofa!

I KNOW MY PICTURES ARE UNGLAM & FAT BUT THATS ME ,live with it(:

Walao, Really gotta diet alr!

2011-04-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

My pictures are funny so it'll brighten your day(:

Many people keep asking me , why do I post unglam stupid pictures of myself everywhere? Well. My simple answer is, I want my pictures to be funny, So one day when HE is having a bad rocky hard life and he misses me, He'll come to my blog or my profile and he'll laugh with a big big smile on his face while looking through my funny funny pictures. Then he'll think to himself "she's still the same, she has not change one bit, still the girl who never fails to make me laugh"

And once again I would have made his day a better day like I use to.

Anyways, School's been rocky , studies are really getting to me. Test test test. Why must I study?! ARGH. Lazyyyyyyy why can't money just fall in front of me form the sky. Is that so hard? NO!

anyways My last post was kinda emotional in a way HAHA! sorry about that. Just some stuff going on recently, but its fine. I'll live with it. That's life and I've gotta face it! And from now on I'm gonna be 100% serious. No more playful Rebecca, gotta be mature! And serious! no more falling down, no more tripping! no more stupid comments, no more stupid remarks! and no more jumping around when I get mad! NO MORE! Gotta grow up! I'm turning 17 for heaven's sake! HAA