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NerdyLilBiatch.blogspot.com 
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The Nerd♥  Rebecca♥ 24.12.94 Shut your eyes, the truth will set sparks(: 
My silly lil biatch {♥}ZoeyWanqZuer{♥} CAUSE U LOVE ME Kapo's You are awesome for being here now, Your life is nor 60% more interesting(: Memories
November 2009
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sinq to the beat.
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Tuesday, June 24
More Everyday it stings a little more. Everyday it grows a little more. Everyday it hurts a little more . Never ending, this pain only grows more. Sunday, June 22
Cursed presence Complicated thoughts, never ending emotions. This has all proven too much, too difficult for me to handle. It seems so unfair, this is too tough. Your presence feels so important yet your absence is whats required. The happiness from your company , that joy you place in my heart , simply put they're tearing me apart. To keep my distance it already kills me this much. But rejecting you would leave me empty, feeling no difference from being dead. Conflicting thoughts with many confused emotions , wearing me down, ripping my insides to shreds. Why must something so good be so bad. Why must something so special be so horrible. How could such happiness be so painful. Forced and with no other choice, I'll have to leave it all behind. Breaking it off though it'll destroy my inner soul. I wish you'd leave me alone but I know that'll be too painful to go through. Yet now I've got to leave and the thought is already killing me inside. In me there now is, a Conflicted mind due to a confused heart causing a hurting soul. Why must my happiness bear such sinful consequence and unfruitful ends ? Tuesday, June 17
Healing touch Life's too complicated , too many problems leaves me feeling suffocated. No issue is too hard or obstacle to big to keep me from standing back up. But now my heart has met it's match. And I'm currently facing destruction. This is too difficult, this is too hard. I simply can't survive this, it seems like I'm gonna die. You're someone so important , so special ,simply too dear. But you're hurting me inside , and tearing me apart. What would hurt me deeper? For me to leave or for me to be abandoned by someone so special. Pains me to have to see you every single week. Pains me to have to hear your voice everytime. Yet it kills me to even think of not being able to see you whenever I can. Missing you would be too great. Loosing you would be too much. Yet seeing you feels so wrong. Being with you burns my soul. Monday, June 16
Endless worries fueled by fear. I don't know what you're thinking and it's driving me nuts. Can't figure where I should be standing. I seem to be going nuts. Empty and confused I am left here hanging. I am simply loosing too much. In pain I am worrying , my fears they starts stacking. Aimless running while my energy is slowly draining. Tuesday, June 10
Yearning I fill my head with knowledge but my heart is still filled by you. I distract myself with tons of Gods work but my soul still yearns for you. I beat my conscience and discipline my heart but I still can't stop thinking of you. Parked in my heart a demon lives, I'm tormented day and night till the day it leaves. Monday, June 9
Holding on Nervous even shy, always dreading goodbyes. Thorn in my flesh, curse of my life. Shame I must carry , love I can't bury. Disappointment and failure I could see in their eyes, yet the worst is found in my own. Burdened and almost crushed, such sinful desires must not last. Save me from him, allow me to flee. Carry me away, please hear my pleas. This pain I am suffering please lift it off of me. This burden crushing my soul, this desire I cannot carry. Dear heart stop holding on, so your soul may be set free, your body is failing, your flesh expiring. Give in before it's too late, before you're blinded and deceived , trapped and tricked by the devil ,you'll never again be truly free. Friday, June 6
Who knew Who knew I could be this happy. Who knew I could feel so free. Who knew I would glow this prettily. Who knew it would all be for you. A heart i failed to guard, this heart I have given up. Now I've lost it , as you've caught it , so please protect it. I know it'll end with tears, I know my heart will break. I know I'll be left with a longing soul. But this happiness made me bold, I've forgotten all my hearts holes. Please don't let my worries flow, so that I won't have to go. Thursday, June 5
With love For you I'll smile, I'll walk even a thousand miles. With you my soul laughs, as my heart pounds. Your words they bury my shame, your presence carries my worries away. With love I'll smile all day, with love I could look at you all the way. I wish I could be the one holding you up in every way. I wish I could be the strongest support pushing you the right way. I wish I could be the one you'd think of all day. I wish I could be the one making you smile in every way. I wish I could be the one you're loving in every way. I wish I am the one your heart beats for everyday. Wednesday, June 4
Push me there My eyes are burning, my heart it's tearing, my soul is crying, my body still melting, all this yearning , when will I start learning, that I need to stop loving so my heart may stop breaking Yet finally I feel , finally I can smile. The power your words have over me , this happiness you control in me. So sinful so true. So terrifyingly good. Shameful and so painful, yet meaningful and so beautiful. Comforting beats of my heart, given desires from the fallen one. Slowly it tempts, as I am being damned. Guilty pleasure from such shameful desires. This thorn in my flesh , curse of my life, such pain in my heart, torture for my soul. I struggle as I tear, I wiggle as I crawl. I can bear this no more. My heart is breaking everyday I know, we'll never happen. Each day you love , someone not me, my heart breaks a little, yet never recovering ,it finally will wither. Forever fading away. How happy you make me, it's just too difficult . This joy I must keep, a secret in my heart, this burden I'll carry , smiles I must bury. Tuesday, June 3
Hide my secrets All my secrets I want to bury. All that shame I refuse to carry. All the pain keeps my heart faulty. So much confusion making me teary. A perfect smile I wear daily, their great results drives me weary. Tired and crumbled I would lay quietly, as satan he tempts me slowly. Happiness filled with sorrow, smiles making me feel shameful. A heart beating so sinful. A love growing that's so hateful. How long will this curse haunt me, such beautiful dreams bestowed onto me, cruelly they'll disappear one day, leaving me abandoned somewhere. Foolish dear heart, stop beating today, we're to fragile to be torn apart again. No more pain I can bear to face , no more burdens I can bear to carry. I'm at my wits end, please stop fooling with me. I can take no more, please stop this foolish play, save me this heart break, Then I'll promise to stay. I won't leave I won't run. Please just for today, Bury my heartache , forget such pain. This shame I hate carrying , they're secrets I'll bury . | ||
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You left me broken inside out,You tore apart My soul..My heart
Now even a thousand tears would not brinq you back to me. |
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